he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
