My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
