i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
