That's intense
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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