I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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