College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
They are going to name an STD after you.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
