Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Randomize
