a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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