Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
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