WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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