I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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