Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
