I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I need a burrito and a hug.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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