no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
