My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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