Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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