How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize