I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
she looked like the before picture.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
