I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
