Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize