We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
