sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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