probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
