I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
