just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
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