Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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