people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize