STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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