I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize