my mouth tastes like poor choices
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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