Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
