i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize