Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
my nose is crying tears of wow.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
