the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
