Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
