I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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