I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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