I just found puke in my bra..
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize