so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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