good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
