My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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