I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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