I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
she told me i tasted like america
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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