I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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