Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
