Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize