I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I'm always down for nudity.
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