His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
My bed smells like the plague
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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