my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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