Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
