I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
