dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Randomize
