Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I need to calm my uterus...
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
