This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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