she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
