"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
