Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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