I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize