That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
