I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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