so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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