let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
