I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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