He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
