I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
