PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I understand Curling. That high.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
