Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
