sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
