are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I love you. Go after that dick
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
