is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
