You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
