We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
