STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
