her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
