come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
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