best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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