i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
