Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize