This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
