Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
this just has baby written all over it
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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