More tranny stories later!
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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