OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
