Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
