There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
